28 04 2015
Is Technology Changing Our Language?
As the subject of much woeful head-shaking among English teachers and grammar snobs, text and Twitter lingo have long been blamed for ruining the way we now communicate. (Because we were such bastions of language excellence before, I guess? #scapegoat)
Read More
My father was a bit of a joker when I was a kid. “They’re coming to get you!” he’d say at the sound of police sirens in the distance. I developed a Pavlovian response to law enforcement and an excessive respect for authority as a result of his chiding. A look back on all of the ways I could have rebelled but didn’t is a glimpse into my misspent youth.
Read More
The prevalence of homonyms in the English language is significant, almost as if homonyms were some deliberate linguistic choice designed to frustrate native speakers and secondary language students alike. A piece of peace, the imminent capital in the eminent capitol, a man you meet seen whining at a wine and meat scene. For those unfamiliar with the subtleties of the English vocabulary, it can be enough to make you bang your head against the wall.
Read More
Happy springtime, everyone! The Ninja’s back, and answering more burning language usage questions. Let’s get crackin’!
Q: What is the difference between “further” and “farther?” Is there any real difference?
A: To answer both your questions succinctly: The existence of physical distance, and sort of.
Read More
31 03 2015
A Case for Keeping It Real
Epic fail.
Literally the best.
The most amazing.
The absolute worst.
These superlative descriptions are best reserved for, respectively, the sinking of the Titanic, invention of the wheel, the Great Pyramid of Giza and the 1918 flu pandemic.
Today, it’s hard to know where you stand when something as minor as burnt toast can be considered an epic fail, or a particularly good burger becomes literally the best thing ever. An affliction of modern discourse is our penchant for exaggeration. Having been a vegetarian for seventeen years, to me there are few foods that come close to the glory that is a nice thick juicy burger. But let’s not get carried away; I’ve had ups and downs, but my life would be pretty grim if a hunk of ground beef was literally the best thing ever.
Read More
Envision a gothic fantasy tale, with a blood-sucking horror sitting at a piano. His cold, pale hands dance over the white, glistening keys of the ancient instrument as his haggard, wet breath exits his chest in a tremendous gray cloud of cold, damp vapor.
Your skin may have crawled a little while reading that, but not because the tremendous number of descriptors painted a vivid picture in your mind. In fact, you may have even been distracted by how many words were used to say something so simple. This is an example of the danger of over-reliance on adjectives in your descriptions.
Read More
Welcome to another edition of Questions for a Language Ninja, where the Ninja explores common grammar and usage issues that, hopefully, at least one other person will find important. Let’s get going!
Q: Why is it that common expressions like “cheer up,” “clean up,” “mess up,” “calm down,” and “make up” don’t have an opposite adverb equivalent? Shouldn’t we be able to logically say “clean down?”
A: We should, and we would – if English language usage was governed entirely by logic. Alas, it is not.
Read More
The Language Ninja is hoping you are having a splendid middle-of-February, and that your Valentine’s Day was a wonderful celebration of affection between you and the one you love most. For the Ninja, it was a day largely spent weeping. Let’s get started!
Q: When is it appropriate to use “I,” “me,” or “myself” in a sentence?
A: If you are an elected official giving a press conference or a director of marketing giving a presentation, it is mandatory that you use “myself” in any instance you might possibly be tempted to use “me” or “I.” No, it isn’t “correct;” it just makes you sound important.
Read More
Remember the neutral male pronoun? In case that sounds like jargon to you, let me provide an example:
If a student hopes to earn an A on his final report, he should not only study all the previous course material, but also bring his teacher gifts and perform various other tasks that serve to boost his favoritism ratings.
While this is clearly objectively excellent advice, notice the consistently male pronouns. Am I writing to a class of only male students? Am I assuming that only the male students are required to perform brown-nosing acrobatics while the female students are naturally gifted enough to earn A’s on their own? Do only the male students care about their grades? This is so confusing!
Read More
Hello, and welcome to the first Questions for a Language Ninja of 2015! May this year bring many and sundry language-related treats for web content-readers to enjoy, and for the Language Ninja to lightheartedly ridicule. Let’s get started!
Q: Which language trend would you like to see abandoned in 2015?
A: Without question, the Ninja would like the suffix “–ista” to be jettisoned from the popular English lexicon, permanently. Does the addition of “-ista” to a subject really cause anyone to think that the title is suddenly weighty or fabulously European? The Ninja is overdosing on cute.
