T
he Language Ninja is back, happily answering grammar-related questions that she has mostly not invented.
1. Question: Is there a significant difference between the phrases: “I could care less” and “I couldn’t care less?”
Answer: Although, lamentably, these two phrases are used interchangeably, yes — there is actually a huge difference. You see, I couldn’t care less means — literally — that the person uttering the phrase is physically, mentally and spiritually devoid of concern regarding the topic to which he or she is referring. If you couldn’t care about something to any lesser degree, then you are totally absent care. However, if you could care less, then you actually do care — albeit just a smidge. Whether the person using the expression realizes it or not, he or she is really communicating the opposite of what is intended: that there is an element of care left within his or her soul.
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As a professional writer of web content, I am constantly fielding queries about what is and isn’t appropriate in terms of written communications and language use. Here are my responses to three of the most oft-repeated questions, one of which I didn’t just make up.
Question: R txt msg abbs apropri8 4 wrk? (Are text message abbreviations appropriate for work?)
Answer: It would certainly depend on your individual work environment. If you work for a narcotics trafficking organization, then yes, they’re perfectly fine. If you work anywhere else, then no.
Question: Is there a real difference between: they’re, their and there? Most of my reading is in Tweet form, where they are used interchangeably.
Answer: Excellent question. Yes, there is a significant difference. They’re, their and there are what are known as homophones. Homophones are words that are pronounced similarly (or even identically) when spoken, but might have wildly different meanings and uses, and are often (but not always) spelled differently. While this is a natural occurrence in the evolution of language, it nonetheless is the source of many hilarious misunderstandings involving the term “seaman.”
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I will admit it – I am completely disinterested in reading anything that isn’t salacious, violent, incendiary or focused on weight loss. Frankly, I think all digital content should be dedicated to serial killer reporting and bariatric surgery success stories – even commercial financing blogs could surely incorporate violent offender mug shot slideshows in a tasteful manner.
Nevertheless, I am completely aware that most digital marketing consultants would shudder at the thought of embracing my revolutionary innovations into their content development strategies and will only implement more socially palatable marketing solutions. But I will suggest, for the sake of my own enjoyment as well as the general readerships’, that you make your content braver.
