Questions for a Language Ninja: You Could Care Less, Right?

T140819 - Blog - Language Ninja 140819he Language Ninja is back, happily answering grammar-related questions that she has mostly not invented.

1. Question: Is there a significant difference between the phrases: “I could care less” and “I couldn’t care less?”

Answer: Although, lamentably, these two phrases are used interchangeably, yes — there is actually a huge difference. You see, I couldn’t care less means — literally — that the person uttering the phrase is physically, mentally and spiritually devoid of concern regarding the topic to which he or she is referring. If you couldn’t care about something to any lesser degree, then you are totally absent care. However, if you could care less, then you actually do care — albeit just a smidge. Whether the person using the expression realizes it or not, he or she is really communicating the opposite of what is intended: that there is an element of care left within his or her soul.

The expression I couldn’t care less first came into common parlance in the United Kingdom, and ultimately spread to the United States in the early 20th century. Somewhere around the 1950s, it is believed, Americans began to eliminate the contracted not from the phrase. Whether this was due to a misguided attempt at linguistic efficiency, slothfulness or head trauma remains a mystery. What is certain, though, is that it caused the rest of the English-speaking world to think that we are complete morons.

For some reason, we are unable to fully comprehend the difference between could and couldn’t only within this context. We often structure sentences to evoke a quantitative scale when we want to convey the concept of absolute zero. For example, you would never say: “Tara Reid could be less talented,” would you? Doing so would imply that there exists a shred of talent within Ms. Reid. No. The correct wording is, of course, “Tara Reid couldn’t be less talented.”

2. Question: Why do people insist upon using the word dialogue as a verb? It’s a noun, isn’t it?

Answer: Shockingly — dialogue is also a verb. According to the Unabridged Webster’s New Twentieth Century Dictionary (published before many linguistic scholars flung up their hands in defeat at improper noun usage), the term dialogue can be used either as a noun (“an interchange or discussion of ideas, either written or spoken”) or a verb (“to hold a conversation”).

Even though dialogue has been used as a verb for several centuries, many of us still bristle when we hear someone say “let’s dialogue,” or “we’re dialoging.” The Ninja believes that the main reason for the very natural abhorrence of this usage is the fact that it has been appropriated by lovers of business/pop psychology/pseudo-academic jargon. Dialoguing implies a particularly weighty discourse wherein the parties may or may not know what they are talking about, but nonetheless want to appear studied and important. You don’t dialogue about the new Transformers movie — you just talk about it. Conversely, you don’t talk about optimizing core competencies and initiating a paradigm shift — you dialogue. Apologies – the Ninja just threw up in her mouth.

That is all for this edition of Question for a Language Ninja. Ninja out. See? The Ninj can grudgingly accept new vernacular. Just don’t ask her to use “YOLO” or “adorbs.” [Shudder]


Holly Troupe is a professional web content writer and an amateur everything else. She spends her days writing, eating, and looking for ways to incorporate the term “perfidy” into the urban vernacular.