As a professional writer of web content, I am constantly fielding queries about what is and isn’t appropriate in terms of written communications and language use. Here are my responses to three of the most oft-repeated questions, one of which I didn’t just make up.

Question: R txt msg abbs apropri8 4 wrk? (Are text message abbreviations appropriate for work?)

Answer: It would certainly depend on your individual work environment.  If you work for a narcotics trafficking organization, then yes, they’re perfectly fine.  If you work anywhere else, then no.

Question:  Is there a real difference between: they’re, their and there?  Most of my reading is in Tweet form, where they are used interchangeably.

Answer:  Excellent question.  Yes, there is a significant difference.  They’re, their and there are what are known as homophones.  Homophones are words that are pronounced similarly (or even identically) when spoken, but might have wildly different meanings and uses, and are often (but not always) spelled differently.  While this is a natural occurrence in the evolution of language, it nonetheless is the source of many hilarious misunderstandings involving the term “seaman.”

• They’re: A contraction of the two words “they” and “are.”  Example: “They’re trying to impress us by using fancy words like ‘contraction.’”
• Their: The possessive form of the word “they,” which is used as a modifier before a noun.  Example: “Their contractions don’t make them better than us.”
• There:  An indicator of location; the opposite of “here.”  Example: “They think they’re smarter than us, but look – they work at that 24-hour Donut Hut over there.”

Question:  Please, please, please explain the difference between affect and effect.

This is a tough one, and even the most erudite among us have gotten this one incorrect.  (Not me, I’m a Ninja!)

• Affect, when used as a verb, means to cause something already in existence to change in some way.  Example: “Staring at my monitor is affecting my vision.” However, as a verb, affect can also have another meaning, which is to pretend.  Example: “In order to avoid arrest, Floyd affected ignorance of the indecent exposure incident.”
• Effect, when used as a verb, means to cause something to come into existence.  “The radioactive spider bite effected Peter Parker by turning him into a Marvel Entertainment global juggernaut.” As a noun, effect is the direct result of something being affected.  Clear?  You’re welcome.

That’s it for this edition of Questions for a Language Ninja.  If you’ll excuse me, I have to resume throwing shurikens at mixed metaphors.

Holly Troupe is a professional web content writer and an amateur everything else. She spends her days writing, eating, and looking for ways to incorporate the term “perfidy” into the urban vernacular.